Up early this morning because I can't lay down a minute longer. Story of my life. Out of the numerous wonderful qualities i inherited from my Pa my least favorite is his headaches. And I mean HEADACHES. Not the annoying irritating kind that slightly inconveniences life, but the big ugly kind. The cant sleep, feel dizzy, laying down hurts, sitting up hurts, lights hurt, life hurts kind of headaches.
And then if things really start to get fun you get a migraine thrown in the mix! If you don't know if you have ever had a migraine than trust me you have NOT had a migraine. Those bad boys literally stop your life. It drives me insane when people think a bad headache is a migraine! I'm sorry but until you have a real one you can't possibly get it. The migraine monster makes you feel like your going to die.
I get the floating lights, my vision goes completely white and I can't see for a good 30 seconds. That's my big obnoxious obvious clue.... run to get Excedrin migraine stat! That is the one and only thing that helps me at all. But there is such a small time frame for it to actually work. If I don't catch it literally within a few minutes then I'm pretty much doomed. Done for. Toast. Your brain feels like its going to explode. The light sensitivity goes through the roof and I can barely even open my eyes. You can't seem to function or even really formulate sentences. Aaaaaand the nausea, that constant feeling like your going to toss your cookies at any given moment. The only cure at that point is a dark room and some attempt at sleep. It's just awesome! I love it so stinkin much! (insert snarky attitude and sarcastic voice)
Growing up I always had headaches, not awful ones, just the irritating kind. It wasn't until I was in high school and got into a car accident that things took a whole new turn. When a vehicle ( idiot woman who to this day if I found I would beat her down and make her feel pain! - ok no i wouldn't but still!) ran a red light going at least 55 miles per hour and crashed into my best friend and I. I had no air bag so you can imagine what that whiplash was like. Boom never been the same. I would rather have broken multiple bones then deal with the aftermath I did.
The rest of highschool sucked I couldn't do any of my sports without getting horrible headaches. I didn't sleep well. Was miserable 24/7 and I mean every second of everyday I never got any relief from the pain. Went to physical therapists, neurologists, chiropractors and all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Erin back together again. I reached a point were I slowly started giving up on everything.
Then God happened. I remember sitting with my Pa having a heart to heart, him giving me the don't give up, things will get better talk. That night I was laying down trying to sleep feeling hopeless and depressed. I was slowly and steadly loosing myself and I knew it was happening and it was not good. I cried my heart out and prayed to God that I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't possibly live life like this any longer and if he didn't help me I would have nothing to turn to, nothing to give me any hope at all. I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep.
The next day I woke up i realized for the first time in 10 months I did not have a horrible constant pain. And that my friends is not by coincidence. That's when my relationship with God started. How could it not? And ever since then I haven't been plagued by the constant nagging all day everyday pain. But it definitely still comes and goes whenever it feels like it! This journey has not been easy but I have so much to be thankful and hopeful for. I know my God will never put me through that constant pain again, He has made a promise to me and has been good for it.
So right now I am going to sip some more coffee. Deal with this annoying headache/neck pain by hanging out with my beautiful little family. And praise God that things are not as bad as they once were.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.
Romans 5: 3-5 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
-Over and out
No comments:
Post a Comment